A Month has past!

A month has past, and what a crazy 34 days it has been. As of now, I am a student teacher in the Magrath High School. Me a teacher! Yikes!

Going back to high school has caused a number of reflections. 12 years ago, teachers were still respected by students, technology had not infiltrated, and well, I did all I could to stay with the Honors classes to avoid main stream schooling. Now, I am to instruct 8 students in grade 10 who have no respect for each other, the teachers, or themselves. They do not believe they will graduate high school, let alone find a job beyond fast food. I am empathetic, but do not understand. I do not know how to reach these students.

Thank you- Josh Groban!

Thank you Josh for the song "You are Loved (Don't Give Up)". This song has incredible power to inspire. It says "....Don't give up, it is just the hurt that you hide.....I'll be there to find you, Don't give up.......I will shine to guide you...." In a world of mixed messages, plagued by the shadows of doubt and hopelessness- we all need to be told we are loved, and to not give up. The fight is worth it- just don't give up. We all need to feel love and to do so must give it. If we all could just give a little bit more- it would make a significant difference to us, to our friends, and to the world. Thank you Josh for spreading your love!

Walk in the Fall

Even though it is fall, I was drawn to the color blue this day. I took all the pictures on the walk except for 5. It was remarkable- once I started looking for the color- it was every where. Thanks Kya for a great Sunday walk!

Collage Fun

I created this collage for my mom's computer. They are great to set as a background for your desktop.

Inspired by Others

I have been inspired by others to create a collage of images. However it looked much better prior to converting it into Paint. I recommend for anyone to try out the creative and pondering nature of the exercise. Start with favorite images or a favorite color...

This collage touches on my love of Venice, flowers, coconut, color, architecture, pottery, ice cream and my cat. You may also notice my favorite colors are evident. So much fun! I want to take pictures just so I can collage.

Family is the most important.

It is too bad that a wedding or a funeral are the few events that can gather a family. This time it was a funeral. Tonight all the grandchildren of Samuel Ortlieb, but 2, were gathered together under one roof- and although it was a funeral- it was a celebration. I watched as my grandfather (Opa) celebrated and reminisced with his family. He was so happy, so moved and a little 'drunk' but he was having a party with his family! Isn't this what life is about?

Minus the drinking, I can only imagine that heaven will be the same way. That there tonight there is a great party, as Kurt is with his wife, parents, and others who have died before him.

I will post pictures later, but I am overcome by the activities of tonight. We talked of family physical resemblances- and oh there are many from the ORTLIEB nose, to the eyes, to the bum. We were but a small crowd of maybe 30 but every room was filled with cousins, uncles, aunts, second cousins laughing, talking, sharing food- it didn't matter but tonight- all were welcome, all were loved and everyone was interested in the other. It was wonderful!

I think Opa enjoyed it the most. This was his family, his nieces and nephews, brother, sister-in-law that he rarely sees. For him to hear of their successes, their joy, and their lives as he stated "was one of the best nights of his life". What uncle wouldn't be proud of this amazing group? More than once, he told me he was proud of me, that he wanted me to be successful and happy. More than ever, his family orientated life, as witnessed tonight, is an ORTLIEB way of living. I do not know if it is just him- but I have a hunch that it is as true for him as for his siblings.

I discovered tonight that the nieces and nephews call my grandma, Aunt Vi....and in the Dowdle family Grandma Pepper is known as Aunt Pen....I need a cool nickname.

I am so proud to be an ORTLIEB! To live life with so much hope and optimism. What a great life it shall be!!!

A girl and her cat!

Just because I miss her!

At 7:16pm tonight...

... my car hit 132000 kms.

Boogied On!

Yesterday I was walking through campus, and happened to notice the chattering squirrels- then all of a sudden something moist and yellow hit my finger... my initial instinct was to check to see if it was more than just a mini droplet. Once I completed a hair and shoulder check- I casually flicked the boogie from my finger.

Slug on the Belly!

Kali has loved this summer. Evenings of moth hunts, and outdoor freedom has been her treat. This evening while lifting her up to snag an enormous moth, I felt something wet on her belly- after the moth hunt, I cut off the mess of hair, slime and grass- cleaning it all up with a Kleenex. My internal investigator got the best of me and I proceeded to squish and mush the foreign slime around- to my horror, It was a slug! So gross! I do not know where she found a slug here in Southern Alberta, but she did. An evening of excitement with slugs and their beady eyes looking at me while I squished it! And may I say, what possessed the slug to take up habitation on her?!!

Flip Flop Season

Freedom for my feet is here. No more boots and socks up to my knees because spring is here. It is a wonderful thing!

Looking Through...

A strange concept, to look through- does one only see the images beyond or does the foreground distract the beauty... Lately, I feel like I am looking through and seeing only the background. This is disturbing to me. I am missing the view that is directly in front of me. I am missing the time, activities, and responsibilities that are directly in front of me and seeing only the distance of space and time. It makes me feel empty and disengaged with my context. Maybe what is in the distance is simply more attractive and exciting. Maybe it is the place I truly want to be..... but I am not there yet. And I must see the true picture that is up to my face.

Children

Children are living beings - more living than grown-up people who have built shells of habit around themselves. Therefore it is absolutely necessary for their mental health and development that they should not have mere schools for their lessons, but a world whose guiding spirit is personal love.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Introductions to "GOLDIE"

This is Goldie. He is the new addition to my little family. He is the perfect pet, quiet, calm, clean, and disappears when I ask. Silly I know...but our family has to grow some how. The other night I had a dream that I owned 19 cats. Can you imagine- me in a car with 19 cats for 5 hours heading to my parents house? They wouldn't even let me in the door. Well, One is great!




This is my Kali. We go for walks- yes I walk my cat or maybe she walks me.... She provides ample study breaks and is the perfect alarm clock. She is a pretty one- and high maintanance.

Welcoming Change!

Life is full of change, some not always welcomed or comfortable. Well, I am ready to welcome change. What I have been doing isn't working, so why keep doing it? It is hard to change. It takes courage, hope, belief, and strength to persevere. I hope I have enough.

Spring is coming soon, and with it growth, color, beauty, rain, and warmth. I want to be inspired. Inspired to grow beyond my comfort zones, my social perceptions, and weaknesses. To welcome color to my wardrobe, hair and art. I want to feel beautiful, and although vain as this maybe- to be told I look beautiful! Rain has the power to cleanse, wash away, and purify the earth for newness. I want to cleanse my body, my spirit and my mind. I want to start over to define myself and to purify my being. I want to be inspired to feel warmth. I have hybernated nicely for several months away from socialization... well I want to feel warmth as a giver and receiver. I want to feel capable of giving that warmth.

This is a long list of wants, however to be truthful, I NEED this. I NEED to feel connected to something greater than myself, and school. My world has become too small and isolated.

"Last Year"

The phrase, "last year...." once referred to 2005, a year of many experiences. I lived in Calgary, working for Haworth as a showroom designer, spending obscene amounts of time and energy at my job to accomplish the demanding job. I travelled to the Dominican Republic, Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, Dallas, Toronto, Denver, and Holland, Michigan all by the end of September. I felt successful, empowered, and proud (for the most part) of the life I had there. I spent weekends hiking and recuperating from my busy schedule with friends. I loved having my sister, Leslie, move and live in Calgary. It stopped feeling lonely when she arrived.

However, now "last year..." refers to 2006. In 2006, I moved and continue to live in Edmonton, with a very different life than the previous year. I looked forward to long weekends, not to do more work, but to leave this northern city. I no longer dream of my next North American showroom, with corporate visits, but instead the idea of being a poor student burdened me. Travel seems far from my life right now. The year of 2006 is described very differently....kayaking, waterfalls, University after-degree, and part-time designer.

I don't know which was or is better. I still miss 2005. I miss the people, my job and the knowledge of my place in this big world. Maybe, that is why in referring to "last year..." I wish it could stay 2005 forever. I never want to forget or let go of it. It was a good year to be proud of.

You weren't an accident. You weren't mass produced.

You aren't an assembly-line product.

You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted,

and lovingly positioned on the Earth by the Master Craftsman.

~Max Lucado

In reference to the Savior, Jesus Christ, Sister Bednar state, "He knows you one by one, He hears you one by one and He can heal you one by one." The world is full of unique, talented and gifted children of a loving Father in Heaven. His way is simple, and can be obtained by all.

Personal Journeys

Each of us is on our own journey to the promised land. For Lehi and his family, their journey took them from Jerusalem to North America. For the children of Israel, they left Egypt to inherit Israel.

What is our personal promise land? Unlike the children of Israel who wandered for 40 years, I will not wander with uncertainty of the course. I know the way, the path is defined and the end is known. There is a rod to grasp in times of extremity that will prevent falling into the darkness or the raging river of life.

Think of a long hike with traverses, barren fields, and soaring peaks. The only way to overcome is one foot in front of the other. If the continual movement in the right path is followed, the sight is stunning, the water fresh and the accomplishment is worth the effort.

Don't misunderstand, the hike must be planned for in order to succeed. However, if obedient, and if the preparation is followed exactly, this journey leads to life eternal. You can stay forever! You will not descend the mountain once obtained.

Therefore, you must choose with true desire and effort to climb the mountain of the Lord, to the promised land. You will not be alone, but strengthened, lifted and the tender mercies of the Lord will bear witness in your life.

Do We Aim High Enough?

"The great danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high

and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it."

~ Michelangelo

If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise. ~ Robert Fritz

I wonder how many people have set their goals too low, and yet have reached them. Some say that you can't swing from the branches till you have climbed the tree- that you must first accomplish the small and meager before reaching for excellence. Yet there are many days that I feel like a compromise- that my life is not the dream I had imagined. Now only a few leaves linger, a few blinking images of what once was my dream haunt me.

I hope I can uncover my dream and release myself from the one that is leading me towards continual compromise. In a movie I recently watched, it is uncovering the -ness in each of us. The innate person in each of us that knows our primary dreams, desires, and futures. However, I must admit, my amber-ness feels lost. What did I give her up for, or where did I loose her? I don't know, but I intend to find, embrace and celebrate her!

Winter nights!

Edmonton continues to be cold. The streets are icy, and the snow piles are large. And yet, life continues on. Many need groceries, need to go to work, need to go to the bank and need to continue their lives.

I find courage to head outdoors in -36 degree weather (with the wind chill) when I see a small child or senior. Both impress very different tracks in the snow and on my heart. To be a child again, full of energy, endless possibilities and no bills.... or to be the senior with years of experience, understanding beyond my own, and treasured memories.

In either case, the road is long in life and I'm glad to be where I am. We all need to laugh, to love and to feel treasured. We need to find our own dance and song.

Beauty of Winter

Winter is raging in Central Alberta. Today I caught the bus, for the first time, to get to the University campus. A new adventure of beating the chill of the wind blown snow. Okay, not beating it, but definately running away from it. It is cold!

It is days like this, that a warm blanket, slippers, and a romance movie should be enjoyed while sipping hot chocolate cuddling with one you love. Otherwise, these days fill with solitude, isolation and bitter chill.

Winter wishes of snow angels, icicles, hot chocolate, snowmen, and warm sweaters, out weigh window scraping. I really hate car window scraping. However, driving down a street with trees heavy with snow glistening and smoke topping the roofs is a delight as it feels like a winter wonder land. Remembering these treasures when my legs are cold, nose running and cheeks rosy red warms my whole being with a quick smile.

A New Year! Welcome 2007!

A new year always feels so exciting. For some reason, I feel anything is possible. Maybe relaxing and spending holiday time with family refreshes the year end deadening sense or simply I'm a cronic procrastinator and a new year wipes the old slate clean. Whatever the reason, I welcome the new year with open arms.

In Church on Sunday, one of the speakers shared this quote..."God does not give us overcoming life, but gives us life as we overcome."

Life is wonderful. Life is full of adventures, challenges, and great experiences. Some are more strenuous and trying than others but the growth and experiences are necessary. As they make us who we are and need to be. They make us the children of God that are purified to return back to Him if obediantly righteous in this mortal world. Festering in my trials is easier than living them, but living them is the greatest adventure of all.

What will 2007 be? What adventures will occur? I do not know. But I will embrace what comes and enjoy the journey. Time flies too fast to not cherish it. So, Welcome 2007!